Update: new computer

New computer purchased and set up. You may now direct computer concerns to "Sony".

Signs you need a new computer

1. You've had it since senior year, of HIGH SCHOOL yet still can't seem to part with that piece of junk.
2. It is commonplace for your computer to overheat and shut down when performing basic functions like opening a word document
3. Your computer is so old that it does not even have wireless built in, you have to use a wireless card.
4. Your friends often ask you how Toshiba is, almost like it is an ailing relative when it is in fact just an old ass computer.
5. You try to coax your laptop into doing things, similar to coaxing an obese dog to play fetch.
6. You've given up with instant messenger and youtube videos because your computer cannot handle the pressure and will turn off.
7. Your monitor is so broken that you have to hold it up with a Hawaiian Lei, and then when the Lei broke you tried to actually tie it together instead of just purchasing a new computer.
8. Most of your friends have gone through 2 or 3 computers in the same time span
9. You cannot use the computer late-night when your roommate is sleeping because it sounds like a vacuum.


Okay, okay, I think its time to invest in a new computer, but damn I will miss Toshiba.

Breaking News: College Students Illiterate

Twill happen again. Only next time we'll have a hippogriff tied up in the back and I'm sure the Floo Network will be working by then, making travel infinitely more convenient. Peace out, bitches.

Before and After: The Beginning

[Backyard pre-invasion. Notice the gorgeous slip-in-slide and newly lacquered beer pong table. Forbidden Forest can be seen in rear.]
Miss Mount Vernon summed up well our opening night of debauchery. Let me also say thanks to all of the Randy McRandomsons who made the night a little more interesting. 1 keg down, at least a baker's dozen to go. All systems go: moaning myrtle's porcelain throne robustly handled the work of ~100 overworked livers, old-as-dirt neighbors did not complain (we at OHD love the hearing impaired), and nothing broke. Game on.

Inauguration de la Casa

The first official party of OHD is over and was a success! We were very excited to see some of our regular readers there helping us kill the keg of Keystone...yes nothing but quality at OHD.

I'm sure Rio will have some photographic evidence of the debauchery but overall I'd say if you weren't there, you should have been.

Sadly we did not have any naked slip & slide contests with our new Wave Rider Slip & Slide, but it is only June, plenty of parties and shall I say, Raygers left to fulfill that fantasy.

Things we have learned:
-Funny signs around the house are a good addition including my personal favorite on our fireplace: "Floo Network, note: out of order do not use")
-Our newly lacquered beer pong table is going to be great
-Earl, from Wagner's liquor will be a great friend this summer, they even let us borrow a hand truck for transport, way too easy.
-Our neighbors, the heads of the Georgetown Econ Department might hate us...no they definitely hate us
-Its going to be a fun summer.

NAMBLA in DC

Ok, seriously? C'mon man, this statue is beyond ridiculous.

I was recently asked by a family friend to take a photo of a monument located on 15th street between E and Constitution, and I did. What I also did was run into this HOTT and erotic (illegal?) monument to the Boy Scouts of America. Except that I ran into it from behind (haha) with a big manly bare ass staring me in the face.

Who thought this was a good image for a Boy Scout statue? A naked, burly man and a butterface (another man?) surround a young, supple looking scout firmly gripping his staff. Hmm.

No doubt some scouts were lucky enough to have such beautiful mentors during their formative years, but I was not among them. I remember my scout leaders as fat, balding old guys overly concerned with knots and tents. Maybe that's why I only made it for one year. Anyway, the best part of the statue is its location: the Ellipse of the White House near 15th. Hahahaha SO gay.

Live! from the OneHotDisaster Townhouse

As I type this post on our sexy sex futon within our "new" and gracefully deteriorating townhouse, Flash and I are watching Super Sweet 16. It's the episode with Collin. You know, "the prince of Cleveland." Collin just got 2 cars for his birthday. Well fuck you, Collin. We at the OHD house have four (4) futons. Four! That's crazy! Anyway, Collin sucks and makes me covetous so clearly we would rather be watching Jon & Kate plus 8.

Ok, onto the OHD house! It should go without saying that this place is awesome, but I'll do it anyway: This place is awesome!!

With a long, grassy backyard and set right across the street from a neighborhood park with tennis and bball courts and a sweet pool full of lots of hotties this house will be the key to one hot summer.



Currently, the house contains:
1 Flash
1 Rio
4 futons
1 spooky basement
1 house elf
1 newly non-leaking upstairs bathroom
1 broken dishwasher "on wheels"
3 bedrooms
47 empty bottles of homemade beer
1 Ministry approved floo network fireplace
& 1 forbidden bamboo forest

Soon to contain:
slip-n-slide!
bar room!
keg!
more house elves!


**PARTY THIS FRIDAY NIGHT**

Moving Woes

Timeline of events of the Official moving day of One Hot Disaster:

8:30- phone call from UHaul, we have 20 minutes to pick up our truck. oops. change reservation to 5 pm
10:00- Enjoy a turkey gobbler from the bagel place next door
10:30- Begin moving Rio & Flash into house using our favorite Zipcar, Meatloaf. He is so fun. spirits are high. house looks awesome.
2:00- both are moved in, heading back to my apartment to start my stuff
2:10- Zipcar calls, apparently we are low on battery and need to drive around to fix it. No problem. Beeline to McDonald's where we play a rousing game of "who should not be eating McDonald's?" We laugh.
4:30- I meet Miss Clinton at metro to assist in retrieving UHaul. Little does he know, but he is about to be our moving companion as well.
5:00- Arrive at UHaul, power is out due to tornadoes (no big deal) They give us car without contract or computer authorization.
6:50- I do the most amazing backing in job of a UHaul ever made.
7:00- We feast on pringles and gummies, moving is hard.
7:30- The great move begins.
9:30- First load is moved in. Moving is somehow less fun than it was 12 hours ago.
1:30 am- Second load is set, we are sweaty angry and tired.
2:00- We all merrily jump in the truck to head over to drop it off and be done and then.... nothing. Truck will not start. Not even a noise it just is dead. I have been moving for 14 hours and words cannot even describe the feeling in me now.
2:45- UPD comes to jump us. First we cannot open the hood (forgot about the hood release INSIDE the car). Then nothing happens with the jumpers. We cry.
3:00- We call our friend Billy, the on-call guy for UHaul. We imagine his life story of wanting to be a mechanic with his own shop just like his father. He soon pulls up in a white pick up trick.
3:30- Billy takes out a screwdriver and sparks the ignition, starting the car. He hands us said screwdriver and tells us how to fix it in case it happens again. We are in awe, I mean maybe after 175000 miles, its time to retire the moving truck with Arizona plates.
4:00- we arrive to unload the truck, waking Flash out of her slumber. We are worried the neighbors might be suspicious of our late night moving.
5:30- go to sleep for one hour
6:30- wake up to return UHaul
7:00- arrive at UHaul store. they are closed, still without power. Thankfully 1/2 hour later arrives some employees with some McMuffins in their hands. They sympathize with my situation.

8:00 return to OHD and sleep.
10:00- call my manager and let him know I will not be coming in for the morning shift
12:00- wake up again. shower.
12:25- come downstairs refreshed and hear a mysterious dripping noise. No its not Harry Potter Puppet Pals, it is in fact water leaking from the ceiling above, onto our kitchen table and floor.
12:30 pm- I apologize Lord, for using your name in vain. Several times.
2:00- Nadia and I from housing are not friends. In fact we are far from it.
2:15- Yay we have cable...

And so another adventure commences in 'How the Taco (Bell) Turns' at One Hot Disaster Townhouse.

Working Very Hard

Rio and I have been very hard at work today making sure that the OHD house will be extremely well suited to our needs. Very hard at work! We arose early in the morn to craft a breakfast that would give us energy for our very difficult tasks and then we have been running and working until now, just recently, we have collapsed into an overworked and very exhausted heap of useful human being.

.......That is not true really. none of it.

Actually what we did all day was play World of Warcraft (me.... level 14. Human. Warrior. ALLIANCE FOREVZZZZ!!! Shout out to bubbleboyz1432 and AllianceHawtie69) and Rio has been researching some great youtube videos of many Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston songs. So many verions of "Believe" from the Prince of Egypt! And now we know which one would be the best version to play early in the morning at our house! See?? We're useful.

Unfortunately the sun is almost setting so we must go imbibe in alcohol. SEE YA.