So Many Posts...

While I would never condone animal cruelty, CNN manages to make even animal cruelty...funny. Or maybe it was just this quote:

She said Petcka had complained, "You love that cat more than you love me," but she had no idea Norman would be in danger. When she returned home Norman did not meet her at the door as usual. She found his body under her bedside table.

Poor Norman.

Fast and Furious

However tragic the pushing back for Harry Potter 6 to next summer, I was surprised to hear about this sequel: Fast and Furious 4 WITH Vin Diesel and Paul Walker. I like it.

http://fast-and-furious-4-trailer.blogspot.com/

Hamlet... Facebook style

As an ardent fan of Hamlet, I found this pretty hilarious....

Hamlet, Facebook News-Feed Style

I will be leaving the country within the next week and a half ... have just been hanging out in Maine. But I have a new blog, one that I shall chronicle my time in the Donia from. You can find it here

But I will obviously keep the Disaster flowing as well.

Programming Announcement: Cats!

With every page refresh comes a new random pussy pic at the bottom of this page. Enjoy, heathens!

3 Months of Post-College Debauchery in 1 Photo

Though there were only 5 of us, it always felt like 14 or so, give or take... Mostly because we always had wonderfully lush friends and drunkard acquaintances enjoying the pleasure of our company (booze for boobs policy: splash of the Flash genius). Also maybe there were 9 dead bodies in the alleyway, formerly of the laundry room. Whatevs. All I know is I had great times in the OHD house (cemetery) even if... PEOPLE DID NOT UNDERSTAND THE EXPLICITLY STATED GOLDEN REQUEST FOR BOOBSPLZ. It's such a considerate house rule: plz!

*sigh* I guess I'm ok with it. I mean, boob-viewing-gender-preference withstanding, this photo most impresses me not with what is absent (titties!), but that there is a nearly full handle of decent rum in the middle of the table. Please pay no attention to that unholy handle of "Georgetown Kentucky Bourbon" on the far right. Since it was first sneakily bought by MissMountVernon during a group alcohol run to Wagner's back at like our first party, that cheaper-than-ramen "bourbon" had not been touched. At all. It was never even opened and sniffed to see if it was decent. We knew it wasn't. Not even the blackout assholes who drank in our cemetery for free would touch the stuff.

However, I did not give up.

Moving day came and that damned bottle was still sitting there. Naturally I gave it to the nice college fraternity boy helping me move... Just off the top of my head, I'd say at least 1 freshman got sexed from "bourbon". And that's good enough for me.

Back from Vacation

Well hello there, our fictional, though no less dedicated reader(s). We've been absent for about a month now. And what a month it was! It was a month marked by significant life changes for OneHotDisaster. In no particular order:

• We (OHD) are homeless, having been evicted from our glorious hovel/cemetary of a townhouse by a feral herd of Georgetown goons. We tried to reason with them ("finders keepers, squaters rights!" etc), but they insisted that the summer was over and so was our "lease".
  
• Flash ran away to Maine in preparation for the years of introspective lonliness sure to come from her upcoming stint as a [US GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEE] survivor in the 'donia, [EASTERN EUROPEAN COUNTRY] that is. She'll be prepared. ...Sleep with your shoes on, Flash.
• After what was surely a vicodin-laced mojito bender, Ms. Clinton stumbled into the international departures terminal at Dulles airport and hopped the first flight to Anywhere, Europe. He remains in Norway. Slinging back mojitos and hobnobbing with royalty and designing grand matchbox cities, no doubt, because, why not?
• I, my dear figments of my imagination, am resigned to a new townhouse in the district. It's much like the old OHD house, except the girls and gay have been replaced by straight fraternity boys, the decrepid kitchen by new stainless steel appliances, and the primo gtown locale by a cultural warzone (gentrification vs the ghetto yea!).
• MissMountVernon--and let me just say we all saw this coming--has moved into a cloister(?) across the street from the national cathedral, is under investigation by the federal government, and has been shacking up with a hott football stud.
  

Out with the old, in with the new, I guess.

With many disasters yet to come and past disasters still to be shared (tatoos, final party, CRAZY INSANE MOFO former OHD occupant, etc), you can be sure that OHD continues. Now get back to work, ya bums.

The Old Glory Bourbon Club

As I sit here watching The Mummy (truly a Brendan Fraser masterpiece), I am compelled to share an exciting piece of news with you all.
Last night, OHD decided to break the routine of going out for drinks by going out for drinks somewhere different. Due to Ms Mount Vernon's primal craving for tearing flesh off of the beast, we chose to go to Old Glory so she could have ribs. It started with an innocuous question... and ended with a life changing revelation. The mirror above the bar glistened with small gold plaques with names on them. Ms Mount Vernon simply asked what they were.
Patrick, the wise sage of a bartender, wove us a captivating tale... the gold plaques on the mirror were in honor of the men and women who bravely fought for membership in the most exclusive club at Old Glory... the Bourbon Club. Patrick... you had us at "bourbon."

Apparently Old Glory carries about 81 types of bourbon. To join the Old Glory Bourbon club you just have to drink all of them. We are not fazed, even though none of us are really bourbon drinkers... I felt it tacky to suggest they should have a "Franzia" club. It has now become our house goal that, before our lease ends, the name ONE HOT DISASTER glistens above the Stolis on our own gilded plaque. To do this, we need your help.

If ever you crave BOOZE, grab your ballsack and go get some bourbon at Old Glory. Ask the bartender for the One Hot Disaster sheet-- filed under "O." Then crush some serious bourbon shots. I know you all probably would prefer a "mangorita" or "pomograntini," but we are doing something beautiful for our country by joining this club and no one ever won awards for drinking rainforest delights. In many years, when you bring your grandchild to Old Glory, think of how proud you will be to point to a plaque on the mirror and say "i helped earn that plaque, child... your grandpappy was a hero." your eyes will be misty. it will be beautiful.

so anyway, help us win our goal. we will have a more coordinated effort to dominate the bourbon scene next week during "America Week" (details to come) but help us get on our way! And just go to Old Glory, Rio and me will probably be sitting there already.

BOTTOMS UP!